Last weekend I lifted my moratorium on dating. All prospects that I thought I had promptly vanished. I guess that's the way that goes.
I am now starting this paragraph for the third time. As it turns out the veto part is bugging me more than I thought. The trick is to deal with it without seeming bitter. I guess this is where I tell the story. Once I write it I will be done with it.
The power of veto...
Back in November Kentos and I met two girls. I will use their operation names (a method of naming that Bob and I use to inquire about something without giving anything away). Their names are Operation: SD and Operation: Christmas Party. Both of them walked into the store Kentos was working at and by course of inquiry on the topic of D&D they became acquainted with Kentos and then myself by close association to Kentos.
Kentos spent time with Operation: SD (OP:SD) and I was spending time with Operation: Christmas Party (OP:CP). Operation: Christmas Party became more interested than I was hoping for and I soon found myself in sort of a bind. It was fun to hang out with OP:CP and OP:SD together, but I didn't want to date OP:CP and that was quickly becoming the only option.
I was at a Christmas party when I informed OP:CP that I was not interested in dating (hence the name). This was met with much dismay and I declared that I would be back in contact when I was good and ready. That happened last week.
I was still not interested in dating OP:CP, but had hoped that the 2 months of no contact had been sufficient to put down any hopes she had in dating me. That was the mistake. She still liked me. I spent a couple of evenings with them last weekend and thought that I would like to ask out OP:SD. I did not originally contact OP:CP to get to OP:SD. However, I did after spending time with both of them determine that I would like take OP:SD on a date. This is before it was confirmed to me that OP:CP still liked me.
Herein lies more trouble... Yesterday, OP:CP called me and I did not feel like I could lie to her and hide my interest in OP:SD so I told her what I have written above. Apparently, honesty is not the best thing. I still maintain that it's better to disclose all rather than have all this come out later and really cause some trouble.
The only thing I wonder is if OP:SD really isn't interested, or if OP:CP was just saying that in hopes of getting my attentions returned to her. That I have not intention of seeking the answer to. If she is not interested it's moot. If she would be interested and OP:CP just said she isn't then that raises new questions that don't need raising.
Operation: SD was vetoed.
It's too bad to, she really seemed nice. I guess it's back to the ward list...
Shaun
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5 comments:
First of all, Love the codenames.
Second, Its always rough when the girl finds out she had a code name. But don't feel bad, they have ways of talking about men that are less, if not as, flattering.
Oh, one more thing,
The above asked if she was the only one who thought it wrong to want to date the best friend. She's lying to herself if she thinks that there is a person on the earth that hasn't thought of trying to pull the old switcheroo--including herself. So, in answer to her question, Yes, you are the only one who thinks it is "incredibly wrong". Remember, though, you only think it for this case because you would have been the switcheroo-ee.
I've said this before but it bears repeating. There are 3 levels of difficulty in switching girls one is dating.
The first is switching between friends.
The second is roommates.
The third and most difficult is switching between sisters.
Also, the difficulty does not go up linearly. It is exponentially more difficult to switch sisters than it is to switch friends.
No, it isn't incredibly wrong. The thing that is wrong is dating someone you know you're not interested in. At that point you're wasting two people's time.
I don't think you are an asshole. And I don't think you are wrong in thinking the way you do. You never had a serious relationship with OP:CP, it never developed into anything. It was a crush she had on you. You can't force yourself to "like" someone. And this is all about "like" right? Women can be bitches and possessive. This whole veto thing is crazy. It's hard enough out there in the single world to find that someone that you have chemistry with...without adding vetoes to the ones that we do. I don't think you did anything wrong in asking out OP:SD. She chose to honor her "veto" from OP:CP and declined the date. OP:CP needs to get a grip on reality. It might have hurt for a bit to have her friend date a guy she "likes" but would she want to be with a guy that doesn't truly "like" her. And who is she to keep her friend (if that's what she is), from dating someone that maybe could have a future. Sounds to me like OP:CP isn't a very good friend and you might be better off finding new friends to hang out with. Plenty of fish in the sea and plenty of crazy ones. You've just had your first encounter with some of the crazy ones. Good Luck! ;)
Wow, I've been blogging longer tahn you, and I've NEVER been called what you got called.
And I thought political blogging was rough. Keep up the good work.
-Bob
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